{"id":626,"date":"2026-09-08T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2026-09-08T11:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/thewolfslair.online\/cms\/?p=626"},"modified":"2026-09-08T10:27:39","modified_gmt":"2026-09-08T10:27:39","slug":"apparently-were-doing-this","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thewolfslair.online\/cms\/apparently-were-doing-this\/","title":{"rendered":"Apparently, We\u2019re Doing This…"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Apparently, We\u2019re Playing Hockey Again<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

At the age of 16, I was diagnosed with PCOS.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Did I truly understand what that meant at 16?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Absolutely not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now, at the ripe old age of 35, do I truly understand what it means?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also no.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What I do know is that it comes with a delightful little goodie bag of symptoms: hormonal imbalances, weight gain, irregular periods, fatigue, brain fog, lack of motivation and a body that sometimes seems to have absolutely no interest in cooperating with whatever plans I have made for it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Somewhere along the way, I went from being a fit, active young girl to a 35-year-old mother of three who finds enormous comfort in food.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And I don’t just mean chocolate.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"

<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

I mean FOOD.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Delicious home-cooked meals. Takeaways. Pasta. Potatoes. Something covered in cheese. Something else covered in sauce. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

“Basically, if it tastes good and makes life feel better for approximately 20 minutes, I’m interested.”<\/em><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Over the years, I’ve gymed on and off more times than I can count.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I start.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I get motivated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I start seeing results.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The results stop.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I get annoyed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I give up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I eat something delicious.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Repeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It’s a beautiful little vicious cycle.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And Then My Brain Had an Idea<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

At 35, after watching a few of my daughter’s hockey games, something inside me apparently woke up and went:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“You know what would be fun? Playing hockey again.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now, a sensible person might have watched the game, enjoyed the nostalgia and gone home.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am apparently not a sensible person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Because my next thought was essentially:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Well, if we’re doing this, we may as well do it properly.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And somewhere in the archives of my brain, underneath school lunches, rental arrears, grocery lists and approximately 400 other things, I remembered that I actually have a fitness qualification.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A qualification I have done absolutely nothing with for years.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Obviously, it was time to dust that bitch off.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This Escalated Quickly<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

So this weekend I sat down and designed myself a training program.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then I looked at it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then I realised I had clearly designed it for the 20-something-year-old version of myself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So I scrapped it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Because what in the actual hell was I thinking?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I redesigned it, sent it off to my very wise tutor for inspection and waited for him to tell me I’d lost my mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Instead, I got the nod of approval \u2014 with a few minor suggestions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Excellent.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We had a plan.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Except apparently a simple four-week exercise program wasn’t enough for me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Oh no.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This thing evolved.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It now has milestones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Daily journals.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Weekly tracking.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Meal tracking.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Water-intake tracking.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Progress reports.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Exercise plans.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Reflections.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Probably my hopes and dreams somewhere in there too.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My innocent little four-week exercise plan eventually became TWO ring-bound books.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Not because I deliberately planned two volumes of my Rocky Balboa comeback story.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I just didn’t have rings big enough.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This should have been my first warning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Day One: Immediate Regret<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Today was the day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was determined.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was going to the gym.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And I did.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Walking back in actually felt amazing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Seeing everyone again, getting warm and excited greetings from the staff, seeing familiar faces \u2014 for a brief moment I thought:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“YES. This is it. I’m back.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then I did my warm-up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And reality arrived.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My first thought was:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Fuck. I’ve lost a lot of strength.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That’s okay, I told myself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We’ll get it back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Positive thoughts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Growth mindset.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Inspirational quote.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whatever.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then I continued with the workout.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

About halfway through, my inner monologue had changed considerably.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“What in the world was I thinking?”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Followed shortly by:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Why did I make this program?”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And eventually:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Who can I speak to about cancelling this entire idea?”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But something really lovely happened too.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Old colleagues popped over throughout my workout. Some gave me encouragement. Others stopped to tell me a story and distract me for a few minutes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And somehow, despite several moments where I was reasonably certain my body was preparing to leave this earth…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I finished it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Almost.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I skipped the planking.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But planking is tomorrow’s problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Real
Girl With Big Plans<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

So… Now What?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

I’m not starting this because I suddenly love exercising every second of the day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I’m not going to pretend I’m going to eat chicken, broccoli and sadness for the next six months.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I’m definitely not promising some dramatic “NEW ME” transformation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I actually quite like me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I’d just like this version of me to feel stronger.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I’d like to have more energy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I’d like to feel comfortable in my body again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And, apparently, I’d like to run around a hockey field at 35 as though my knees haven’t been faithfully carrying me around for three and a half decades.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

PCOS might make some parts of this harder.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Being a mom makes finding the time harder.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My love of really good food certainly isn’t going anywhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And motivation?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Well, motivation and I have a complicated relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So maybe this time it isn’t about motivation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Maybe it’s just about showing up again tomorrow.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And then the day after that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And when I inevitably have a terrible week, maybe instead of deciding I’ve “failed” and throwing the whole thing away, I’ll just start again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No massive promises.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No “90-day transformation.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No before photo where I’m deliberately standing badly with terrible lighting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just me, my ridiculously over-engineered two-volume fitness bible, PCOS, three children, a questionable decision to return to hockey…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2026and one skipped plank.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Day one: done.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

God help me.<\/p>\n\n\n\r\n

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    At the age of 16, I was diagnosed with PCOS.<\/p>\n

    Did I truly understand what that meant at 16?
    \nAbsolutely not.
    \nNow, at the ripe old age of 35, do I truly understand what it means?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":634,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"pmpro_default_level":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[6,61],"tags":[41,60,220,58,45],"class_list":["post-626","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-articles","category-featured","tag-health","tag-lifestyle","tag-pcos","tag-series","tag-training","pmpro-has-access"],"yoast_head":"\nApparently, We\u2019re Doing This... - The Wolfs Lair<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/thewolfslair.online\/cms\/apparently-were-doing-this\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Apparently, We\u2019re Doing This... - The Wolfs Lair\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"At the age of 16, I was diagnosed with PCOS. 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