Day 2: My Knees Are No Longer Speaking to Me
I woke up this morning a little stiff.
Nothing too dramatic — just feeling a few muscles that I had apparently forgotten existed.
But the determination was still there.
Day 2. Let’s go.
First came the usual morning chaos: kids, lunches, getting everyone sorted and pretending I have my life together.
I even made myself lunch.
A delicious chicken and baby spinach salad.
Although… can I actually call it a salad?
It was baby spinach, grilled chicken breast, cucumber and feta.
That’s it.
Basically, I opened the fridge, looked at what we had and thought, “Yep. That’ll do.”
Turns out, it was bloody delicious.
AND apparently full of nutrients.
According to Google.
Because while I technically have nutrition modules somewhere in that qualification I mentioned yesterday, those particular files in my brain are currently unavailable.
I really need to go through them again.
The brain is rusty.
Possibly dead in some areas.
We’ll investigate later.
Oh, By the Way… Yesterday Was LEG DAY
This is something I completely failed to mention in yesterday’s post.
I STARTED WITH LEG DAY.
Why?
I genuinely don’t know.
Of all the possible ways I could have gently welcomed my 35-year-old body back into the gym, apparently I chose violence.
At this point I can’t even ask my mom why I do the things I do because I’m fairly certain she also thinks I’ve lost the plot.
She still loves me though.
Right, Mom?
Anyway.
Getting in and out of my office chair today was A LOT of fun.
Every time I stood up, my quads were basically:
“What the hell happened to us?”
While my knees were somewhere in the background going:
“Why would you do this?”
What neither of them knew was that I had already made plans for the afternoon.
They had not been consulted.
Day 2: Interval Cardio
Today’s plan called for interval cardio.
Now, am I ready to run?
No.
Physically?
No.
Mentally?
Also no.
Spiritually?
Absolutely fucking not.
So I decided we’d start with walking and play around with pace and incline on the treadmill instead.
A perfectly reasonable compromise.
My legs disagreed.
There were protests.
There were negotiations.
There may have been threats.
But eventually they seemed to realise that they had very little say in the matter and started cooperating.
And you know what?
I was happy.
I did it.
I actually felt pretty damn good.
Then I stepped off the treadmill.
My knees immediately said:
“Nope. We’re unavailable right now.”
And for a brief moment, I had to hold onto the treadmill for support.
Physically.
And emotionally.
Mostly physically.
But definitely a little emotionally.
Obviously This Deserved a Reward
After all that negotiating, arguing and convincing my legs to perform their basic contractual duties, I decided they deserved a treat.
So I bought myself a protein shake.
Very fitness girl of me.
Very responsible.
Very health and wellness.
Although let’s be perfectly clear:
If they had offered me cake, I probably would’ve taken the cake.
I’m trying to become stronger.
I’m not trying to become a liar.
And Now We Have a Problem
Supper is done.
The kids are settled.
I’m tired.
I’m ready for bed.
There’s just one small issue.
“My legs will no longer allow me to take my pants off.”
Apparently we have reached that stage of the program.
So here I am.
Day 2 complete.
Still determined.
Still going.
Slightly concerned about my ability to sit on the toilet tomorrow.
But going.
And before anyone asks…
No.
I did not plank today either.
At this point, the plank and I are in a standoff.
I know it’s there.
It knows I’m avoiding it.
One day soon I will summon the courage to voluntarily hold my entire body off the floor while attempting to engage a core I’m not entirely convinced currently exists.
Without falling flat on my face.
I’m not sure when falling on my face while planking became a genuine fear of mine.
But apparently it is now.
We’ll deal with that another day.
Maybe tomorrow.
Probably not.
Day 2: Done. ❤️
Legs: angry.
Knees: unavailable.
Protein shake: consumed.
Plank: successfully avoided.
Apparently, We’re Doing This.
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