Apparently Showing Up Still Counts
Day 11.
Today was another one of those very low-energy days.
Not the cute “I’m a little tired, let me have a coffee” kind of tired.
More the “Who unplugged me and where the fuck is my charger?” kind.
I started the morning with a cappuccino and my granola and yoghurt.
Coffee is officially back in my life, and after abandoning it for a week, I feel like we have successfully repaired our relationship.
Then came my lunchtime snack of biltong.
Very South African fitness journey, this.
Granola. Yoghurt. Cappuccino. Biltong.
Basically wellness, but make it braai-adjacent. 
Then came upper body…
And what an absolute shit show.
There really isn’t a more sophisticated way to describe it.
I had no energy.
I battled with the weights.
I battled with the reps.
Everything felt heavier than it should have, and my body just wasn’t interested in cooperating.
But instead of getting frustrated and throwing the whole session away, I decided to focus on the one thing I could control:
My form.
If I couldn’t get the weight, the reps AND the form right today, then at the very least I was going to get one of them right.
So I slowed down.
I concentrated.
I did what I could properly.
And carried on.
Because apparently I’m slowly learning that a workout doesn’t have to be amazing to count.
Sometimes it just has to happen.
My planned five-minute warm-up walk also somehow turned into a ten-minute incline and decline walk because I wanted to warm up and stretch out my legs properly.
And thankfully, the legs are definitely feeling better.
Which is wonderful.
Unfortunately, my back and shoulders have now started protesting after today’s session.
So apparently the complaints department has simply moved upstairs.
Legs: Thank you for contacting us. Your complaint has been resolved.
Back & shoulders: HI, WE’D LIKE TO OPEN A NEW TICKET.
Lunch at… 3:30pm.
Excellent scheduling.
After gym, I eventually had lunch: crumbed chicken, baby spinach and cucumber with salt and pepper.
Simple.
And absolutely bloody divine.
The problem was that by the time I ate it, it was after 3:30pm.
So when supper came around…
Nope.
Wasn’t hungry.
I’ve also noticed lately that my portions have become smaller and I’m definitely not snacking enough.
It genuinely feels like my stomach has shrunk because I just don’t seem to be able to eat the same amount I used to.
Which brings us back to today’s recurring question:
WHY AM I SO FUCKING TIRED?
PCOS?
Cutting down on sugar?
Cutting down on caffeine?
Training again?
Life?
Motherhood?
My hormones throwing another illegal rave?
All of the above?
Probably all of the above.
Right?!
RIGHT?!
I don’t have the answer yet.
What I do know is that today wasn’t one of those days where I walked out of the gym feeling powerful and accomplished and ready to conquer the world.
Today I walked out thinking:
Well… that was shit.
But I still walked in.
And perhaps that’s the bit that matters.
And in other news… 
My more serious article about PCOS and training will be launching soon over on The Wolf’s Lair, and I am ridiculously excited about this one.
It’s something I’ve been working on over the last few days, and after speaking to numerous women who are fighting their own battles with PCOS, the conversations made me realise a few things.
Things I hadn’t necessarily considered before.
Things that made me look at some of my own experiences differently.
And things I’m absolutely not giving away here. 
You’ll have to read the article.
I’ll share the direct link as soon as it goes live, but please keep an eye on The Wolf’s Lair because I’m genuinely excited — and slightly nervous — to finally put this one out there.
It’s still me.
Just with slightly more research and slightly fewer swear words.
Slightly.
So… was today a good day?
Not really.
And I’m not going to pretend it was just so I can wrap this up with some inspirational little bow.
I was tired.
My workout was hard.
The weights felt heavy.
I didn’t manage everything the way I wanted to.
My body wasn’t cooperating.
But I showed up.
I focused on what I could do.
I ate.
I moved.
I finished the session.
And now I’m here, another day further into this ridiculous little journey.
Will tomorrow be better?
Hopefully.
Could it be another shit show?
Also entirely possible.
But overall, I’m just really bloody glad that…
Apparently, we’re still doing this. 
Oh, and one final thing.
P.S. I DID NOT PLANK TODAY.
After two successful appearances, the plank and I have decided that some healthy distance is important in any relationship.
Please respect our privacy during this difficult time.
Day 11: Done. 
Energy: whereabouts unknown.
Coffee: relationship successfully rekindled. 
Biltong: doing important work.
Legs: complaint resolved.
Back & shoulders: new complaint lodged.
Upper body: absolute shit show.
Form: at least SHE showed up.
Lunch: approximately three business days late.
PCOS article: COMING SOON.
Plank: absolutely fucking not.
Was it perfect?
Nope.
Did I do it anyway?
Yep.
Progress, not perfection.
Same girl. Just stronger-ish.
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